An Interview with Our Stay at Home Dad

Last week I got an email from Rob titled "Stay at Home Dads".  He had read an article (link pasted below) and thought it would be fun to answer the same questions that the interviewer had asked the stay at home dads in the article.  I am not sure if he did that and sent it to me because he knew I would love the gesture, or to give me some insight about his feelings about being a stay at home dad (which I always ask him about), but either way it was a pleasant surprise and I loved reading it.  So here  is what he had to say about being a stay at home dad.

The Original article

http://mom.me/fun/11130-10-questions-youre-dying-ask-stay-home-dad/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl17%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D445205

The Dads

In 2010, Rob Iosua decided to go back to school to get his degree in Physical Education.  A couple months before Rob was going to graduate, a new chapter would start in his life.  Rob and his wife were the proud parents of a baby boy named Bryce.  Luckily for him and his wife, Rob’s graduation and the end of his wife’s maternity leave coincided.  As a family they had a choice to make.  Do they both work and have their son in daycare or have Bryce’s father stay home and take care of him.  With the cost of good daycares being so expensive and the possible salary Rob could make just about covering the cost of daycare, the choice was made - he would stay home to take care of his son.  

What was something about being a stay-at-home dad that surprised you?

Thinking that I was pretty good at multitasking.  I thought that I would be able to do other duties around the house. But I quickly learned, at least so far at this age, that multi tasking was hard, and BRyce took up 100% of my attention and everything else came second (or not at all). 

Did you ever regret the decision?

Never!  There are days when 100 different things go wrong, he won’t eat, won't sleep, won't stay still for a diaper change and so much more, but there is that one moment, that may last only for a couple seconds, where he smiles and comes over for a hug and all of the sudden it’s the best day ever.  

What is the hardest part about being a stay-at-home dad?

Asking for help.  Being a stay-at-home dad, I feel that I am already at a disadvantage from the way other people think of us.  I know there are people out there who think dads can’t take care of their children as well as the child’s mother could.  This makes it tough for me to ask some people for help or even answers to questions about parenting.

Do you ever feel like the moms you interact with don’t take you seriously?

My son is still young so I haven’t really had the opportunity to have many play dates/gatherings with other kids and parents.  When I do meet other mothers and I tell them that I say home with Bryce I feel like they are trying to hide the shock or surprise that I’m a stay-at-home dad and that my wife isn’t the one at home with our child.  

Have your male friends judged you for the decision?

My friends are the best!  We don’t get to see each other as much as we would like, but I can tell they don’t judge me for staying at home.  Nothing really has changed with my friends when we hang out.

What’s the biggest thing you learned about yourself after becoming a stay-at-home dad? 

I’m a hugger!  Ask my wife, she would never have categorized me as a person who likes to hug.  But now that I’m with Bryce all day long, all I want is a hug from that little guy, no matter how much he doesn’t want to.  

What’s your favorite part about being a stay-at-home dad?

Watching him grow up.  He is getting so big so fast.  I’ve been watching him for 9 months now and I’m amazed at how different he is.  He has become his own little man.  Being able to see him grow these past few months has been amazing!

Would you suggest this to other dads?

Absolutely.  The bond you build with your child during these years are something that you will never forget.  Your child will always have this unexplainable bond with his mother.   She will be the one he always goes to, good or bad.  Having a chance to stay at home with my son doesn’t quite make the bonds my wife and I have with our child even, but I feel like I’m getting closer.

How has your relationship with your spouse changed, if at all, from this arrangement?

It hasn’t really changed too much.  It is tough for my wife sometimes when she has such little time during the week to be around our son.  I make it a priority that as soon as she gets home, we are waiting at the door for her and that he is the first person she gets to see when she gets home.

What’s the biggest piece of advice you would give to someone considering becoming a stay-at-home dad?

Expect the unexpected.  You could have a routine down and be ready to go with your schedule and it gets blown up within the first 5 minutes.  I learned in the first week that things won’t go as expected.  You need to keep your head focused and work through the difficult moments.