A Letter to My One Year Old Son

My Dearest Bryce,

I wrote you a letter soon after you were born.  Back then I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me.  Back then I couldn't even have imagined how great of a little guy you were going to turn into this year.  You have completely surpassed all my expectations.  There are so many memories from this past year that I wish I could relive over and over again.  We have had so many firsts together as a family.  I can't believe all that you learned this past year and how different you are from the little baby that they placed on my chest a year ago today.  The one who immediately lifted his head and looked me right in the eye, as if to say "You ready for this mama."  You learned to roll over, crawl, walk, and make your fist basketball shot. Your had first foods, got teeth, gave hugs, kisses, smiles, laughs, tears and had sicknesses.  In the last two weeks alone you had your first Christmas, ear infection, fat lip, new years eve, full body rash and birthday.

I have learned a lot this past year as well.   I have learned the limitlessness of exhaustion.  I have learned to try to let go of my childless version of selfishness.  I have learned that when you are sick/tired/teething, I can hold you for hours even if my back says I can't.  I learned that I love your father more than I possibly thought I could on the day we got married, because in those moments when I see him rocking you to sleep, making you laugh, and just playing with you, my heart swells.  Seeing how much he loves you makes me love him even more.

I have loved exploring this world with you from an entirely new point of view, while you have been bundled at my hip, my chest, my back and shoulders and now walking by my side.  I thought I understood the world before you.  What it meant to be tired, to love, to put someone else first, to grow, to laugh and to learn, but having you has made these things so much more, so much different, so much truer. You added a dimension to life that I never could have dreamt of.

You have always looked like your father, had the mannerisms and temperament of your mother and the kind heart of your puppy, but you are you and no one else...you are perfect.  Like I tell you every night. You are kind, you are important, you are handsome and you are so smart.  I will love you always,  no matter what.

I love you to the moon and back Bryce and I always will,
Mommy