6 Months with Bryce Davis

As I was putting Bryce to sleep tonight, I couldn't help but think no parent has ever loved their child this much.  Obviously, I realized that every parent feels this way, naturally, but I was overcome.  As Bryce slept in my arms and I continued to rock him to the lullaby's playing on the iPod, I couldn't bring myself to put him down in the crib for the night. I just wanted to hold him forever.  I thought to myself, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life.  This face, this tiny little guy in my arms.  I studied every crevice, every smile, every little feature that I finally realized won't stay little for very long. My little boys was already 6 months old, and already so different from the little (or big) 9 pounder when he was born.

I can't believe how fast the last 6 months have gone by.  We are half way to Bryce's first birthday.  Its crazy.  Bryce met so many milestones these last two months.  He has two teeth.  Is moving around (rolling and army crawling) like crazy.  He has grown out of his bucket car seat and the swing that he loves so much (*tear).  The swing was a saving grace to us the last year and was Bryce's favorite place to nap.

Our last picture of Bryce all cozy in his swing

The last three months have been such a different experience than the first three months, as I have gone back to work.  There have been a lot of highs and lows in these months (but mostly highs) as I have struggled to find a new identity in the working mom category.  So much of motherhood and being a working mom has been better than I ever could have imagined.  Bryce's face lights up when I get home from work and he reaches out for me to pick him up.  He nuzzles his face into my shoulder as if saying "I am so glad you are home" or "I missed you mom".  Bryce laughs so much now.  He is so happy and its infectious.  My time with him is so precious now that I make a huge effort to really be there when I am home.  I can't remember where I read this, but it is something that really stuck with me. "Unconditional attention is just as important as love sometimes.” 

A lot of the last few months have also been harder than I was expecting.  Going to work everyday is a constant struggle.  I want to work, but it so hard to leave Bryce.  Most days, now that Bryce is sleeping later, he is still asleep and I don't get to see him before I leave at 6:30am.  That's hard because I don't get to say good morning and give him a big hug and kiss (until we Facetime later on with Rob).  He is so cuddly and smiley in the morning I hate missing out on that.  On the other hand, on the days when I either voluntarily take a later train, or Bryce wakes up early, I love getting to see him, but then I have to say goodbye.  Its so much harder to leave when he is staring at me and smiling or playing as I am walking out the door.  I suppose I can't win either way.  As a fellow blogger so eloquently put it, "The truth is there is no such thing as balance.  On occasion, there is a decent blend." Though as my emotions continue to be all over the place (recall my post partum bi-polar disorder post), I am continuing to navigate this motherhood job and more specific the working mom title with each day. 

To my dearest Bryce:  These past six months have been the best of my life.  Each and every day you make me laugh and cry tears of joy.  My favorite sound is your laugh, my favorite site is your smile, my favorite touch is your hugs, and my favorite smell is your sweet skin after a bath.  You continue to brighten up our world and are such a fun little boy.  Even at such a young age you bring so much happiness and laughter where ever you are, (just ask all the old ladies that the grocery store who can't stay away from you).  I can't wait to see what the next six months (and beyond) have in store for you.

Milestones:
Sitting up on your own
Army crawling everywhere.  You really make it around!
Two teeth
Lots of first foods.  You eat a lot!
Finger foods
A lot of baby babble including Da Da
High fiving
Standing while holding on to objects
Growing out of everything
Met all my Florida cousins
First trip to the zoo
First trip to the beach and many trips to York, ME

Here is some Bryce cuteness: